Last year, this time, what was I doing? First of all, I'd be sleeping hard as hell in my bunk. But I was in military skool. I can remember my mind set too. I couldn't wait to get out to start my life basically over as a new person. I wanted to start on working toward my career. I wanted a car. I wanted the basic necessities I was missing. We were woken up at 5:45 or some in this month. I think... Sometime on a good morning, we'd jog around the track. It's being a nice time to do so to in my opinion. You know how in the morning, the humidity has hit its dew point and has condesated on the grass, and above it to make it look like a fog? Well yea, it was like that. Made the track a bit slick though. We'd run with our platoon for 2 laps and break off into individual running. I'd aim for about 5 laps and slack 70 percent of the time, but some mornings, I'd just be running like Forest Gump. I remember I ran about 9 laps. I was SO proud of myself. My motivation in running so hard was so we I got back to my girlfriend, I'd WEAR them booty cheeks out. But I did it for myself sometimes too.
After physical training (PT), we return to the barrack, wash up, brush your tea. Then put on your B.D.U.s to prepare for breakfast. Clean your room if needed. We were suppose to have our bunks made as SOON as we speaked outta bed. SO it wasn't part of clean up unless you were like my roommate Grace. He was lazy a HELL!!!! Funny, cool, but kinda crazy. I had 5 roommates. Grace, Pettaway, McKnight, Saunders, and Holmes. I'd explaing their personalities but it is kinda late right now.
We'd have to march to the Dining Facility (DIFAC). Where our orders to get food were, "Mainline, 1 water, 1 juice, slice of bread, piece of fruit." March is about a month after we got to the base we were to stay on until graduation. So we were not allowed to get shit like cereal, and milk yet. We hadn't earn it yet. But mainline consisted of Eggs either with, or without cheese and ham, Bacon, or sausage, and POTAHTOES! SO DELICIOUS! I ate a lot cause I was on the skinny side, and I wanted to be a little bit bigger. So many self-conscience reasons. Different story. You could only get 1 slice of bread. Like, wtf?! Can't make a damn samitch. Shit. But we found ways. STUFF eggs and bacon in the one slice, FOLD, eat. 1 water was one cup of water. Same with the juice. And fruit of choose for me was an orange or apple. Kept the doctor away and shit.
Then we'd form up, and march back to the barracks. Which was about a 1/2 mile away. File in, and just chill until class which was at 8. The rule was ALWAYS be where ever you need to be 5min early to where ever you needed to be. So if you were not in formation at 7:55, done deal. But it wasn't until later we were really penalized for being late.
Classes. We had 4 classes a day. But it was set up in a way that every other day you'd have an academic day. So the next day would be a non-academic day.
For my squad, or schedule for school was:
Monday: Acedemic day; Science, Social Studies, Math, lunch, Reading
Tuesday: Non-Academic; Study Hall, Something with our counsler, GED practice, lunch, writing sometimes, and something else I can't remember. OH YEA, Military Subjects!!!! HA!!
And it'd continue like this until friday.
Each class was about an hour and 50min. It was the beginning so we were learning at the point in time.
LUNCH! March to lunch, eat and come back. Normal meal.
Finish up skool.
Then it was MAILCALL! My favorite part of the day. OMG I was so anxious to have a letter from my family or my girl. Like, you know that adrenaline rush you get waiting your turn before you get on the rollercoaster? It was like that. The platoons are form to center the lady with the mail. And mail was passed out in alphabetical order starting in each squad. The days I didn't get mail, were kinda boring. But the days I did, spent all night reading that bitch like 4 times over. After mail call. We had to go inside. If you had an Academic day, you had study hall immediately after mail call. Non-academic, you went upstairs and basically chilled. Switch out of our B.D.U.s into our sweat pants and shit and prepared for dinner.
Dinner was well awaited a lot because it was the ended of the day, and sometimes lunch was shited. So we are ready to go eat. For dinner, meal orders were, "Mainline, slice of bread, 1 water, 1 juice, piece of fruit." Basic, but it was enough sometimes. We traded food and shit under tables. Threw it when no one was looking. We did it all. They also had a television inside the DIFAC. And we watch the HELL outta that shit. We haven't seen T.V. since the morning or night before processing. SO of course we would stare at the t.v. Dinner's done and we'd form it up and head back to the barracks.
Once we made it back, we were briefed on how the showers would be ran. I forgot to say our company was made up of 3 platoons, and 8 squads. Squads 1-3 was first platoon. 4-6 was second. And 7th and 8th was third. First and second platoons were males and third platoons were females. All the males were sanctioned on the third floor. And the chicks on the second. So the males had to have an organized way to get about 90 guys into 16 showers in an hour and 30min. Usually it went by platoon. Each person had 4 mins.
Took that quick shower, get dressed for bed, then brush them chops. For the rest of the remaining time until lights out, we did a WHOLE bunch of shit. Studied, push ups, get in trouble, etc. ALL I did was write letters to my girl and family and did a couple push ups to compete with my roommate. My roommates made fun of me because I wrote so much. But I felt obligated to let my folks know what was good.
9:30. Lights out... Oh what you thought, the day ended here? Oh nah, sometimes it was the best. It wasn't until the end I told funny stories. But that happened, we'd work out EXTREMLY hard. Fight, go in other ppl's rooms, crazy shit. I kinda miss it. I wish I could change the out come of shit sometime. BUT, oh well.
Experiences and people go together just as good as peanut butter and chocolate.
3.31.2009
3.30.2009
Cement
yea, this will be something slight.
I've been having high hopes. Making smart move. But it will take time until I will be able to be happy with things as they are. Like, the thought that I have no choice except to sell this car is a bummer. But then I HAVE to pay for 4 tickets, and one other fee from the court because I was driving my car uninsured. So 'IF' I sell my piece of junk, half of it will go to paying back tickets. And the other half isn't enough for a car. So how would I manage getting to my job?
Shit, it seemed to be going smooth until things got really hard.
I've been having high hopes. Making smart move. But it will take time until I will be able to be happy with things as they are. Like, the thought that I have no choice except to sell this car is a bummer. But then I HAVE to pay for 4 tickets, and one other fee from the court because I was driving my car uninsured. So 'IF' I sell my piece of junk, half of it will go to paying back tickets. And the other half isn't enough for a car. So how would I manage getting to my job?
Shit, it seemed to be going smooth until things got really hard.
3.28.2009
Check me out, look!
I never really introduced myself. Nor does ppl read this, but I feel kinda obligated to just introduce myself since there isn't that much else on my page.
Hello, my name is Khyle. Khyote is my nickname. I got it from my cousin. We were playing GTA San Andreas, and when ever he drove through the gay part of San Ferio, I'd call him Jolly Jimbo. And when he finally caught me driving through that section of the city, he called my Kinky Khyote. So now you know something about I.
Let's see, where in my life should I start with you no ones? No matter. I'll start from the beginning. I was born on nice ass afternoon and shit. July 6th, 1989. I was fat ass and white ass hell. My Grandmother named me Man Man because my hands were so big when I was born. But my hads are normal at this point in time. I was born in DC. Raised in Maryland. All I remember as a baby is biting my crib and lying next to my Grandmother. She made up songs and would sing them to me. I remember smiling too. She sang Pattie cake. And she also had her own randition of Whitney Houston's "Saving all my Love for You." She was sing, "I love you Man Man, yes I do, I'm saving all my love and just for you." I laugh as she held my hands and jiggled me around. I don't remember my mother so much because she wasn't too much. She was 16 when she had me. She was out having fun, and what not. Horrible shit. When I was about 2 or though, my Granny told my mom she wasn't gonna watch me anymore and that she needs to take care of my herself. So what she did was, took me everywhere she went. And of course I saw it all. Drugs, sex, fights, guns, death. And they thought I was too young to notice. She took me EVERYWHERE. Next.
I am like 4 now, and my mom has gone to Devry or some shit. And she graduates. We go to Busch Gardens. Had fun on the swings, the marry go'round. I remember the car my Granny rented. It was a Ford Tauras. My Granny also own this old as Ford Escort too. It was red. So at the age of 4, I started preschool too. I remember this one little girl. Her name was Bianca. Freaky, right? I know. I sat at the back on the bus by myself everyday. Until one day she decided to sit next to me. She asks, "Can I sit here?" I studdered, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes...." And she said, "Thank you." And gave me a kiss. I was astounded!!! I told her to do it again. And we started kissing. Bad little kids huh? Kids are very exploring. If you never kissed a chick well you were a kid, you missed out. I also met my best friend to this day at this age. His name's John. He was 2 when we met. Outside one day, and he was playing in the dirt. I played with him. Then I grab this branch and let go. It slaps him in his face. I said sorry, but it wasn't enough. He broke it off the tree and hit me in my face. And his mom saw. Beat his ass. I watched like, that's what it is like from the outside. 5 years of age. Kindergarden. I went to this school named Burnt Mills. It was nice. I can barely remember My teacher's name. It was weird. Ms. Hagestory. Something along those line. Typical Kindergarden teacher. Big fat white lady. Had curly black hair though. I thought it was interesting when I had seen her for the first time. Once, I had gotten left in the class before for bad behavior. And I had to PISS. Pissed on the canvas the teacher wrote on, on the reading carpet, and on myself. Bad kid eh? I thought not. I lived with my aunt Lisa in Atlanta for like 2 weeks too. I don't know why, but she bought me some Power Ranger blankets. I was SICED!! (excited) About when I was 5, my mom decided to move into her on apartment. Shes take me. IDK WHY! While I lived there, I didn't go to skool or anything. Stayed home until my mom got home from work I guess. I can't remember. I remember seeing my first porno there though. I was up late one night. And I wanted to watch my favorite move, Roger Rabbit. Which was ALWAYS in the VCR until this one night. I push play. Then these three lating ppl are naked. I knew it was wrong, but I was like wtf is he gonna do with that microphone. Put it inside the bitch. I was like OH NO! Then my mom comes out her room. Ass beating put me to sleep. One normal ass day, my mom is in the room with some guy... And someone's knocking on the door hard as HELL. My mom looks through the peep hole. She doesn't know him, but the guy she was in the room with looks out. And he knows the guy. Goes back in the room and comes back out with a pistol in his hand. I walk up to the door with him. My mom pushes my into the kitchen. The door opens and, "BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!!!" Gun firing and shit. My mom and him run to get what they need out the room, and I run to the door to see what happened. A dead ass dude laying on the steps blood EVERYWHERE! The floor, the celing, neighbor's door, the windows, the handrail, everywhere. My mom snatches me up and we are outta there!
6 years old my first sister was born. Karianne. She was born premature. So she was EXTRA small. Why she was born like that? My mother got pregnant, but that didn't stop her rolling ass from smoking, drinking, ect. Fucking bitch. Anyway, I loved my little sister. But of course, my Granny raised her. One time, my Granny had gone to the Bahamas with her friends for work. So it was up to my "MOTHER" to watch us. She left. And I had to take care of my baby sister by myself. I knew how to change diapers, but I wanted to play outside with my best friend John. So before I went out, I made my sister a fresh bottle of milk. Gave it to her, and she was all good. I went out on my patio with a box of Multi-Grain Cheerios. And sat there just in case my sister started crying. ALL my friends were out playing. They were like, "Come on Khyle, play duck, duck, GOOSE with us." I was like, "I can't leave my patio right now." So they played. Then my sister starts crying. Bottle's empty, I fill it up with some Kool-Aid. She was fine. So I thought, if she was quiet long enough I would step away from my patio. So I ended up walking off my patio to play with John. And we decided to throw rocks. We were some BOYS as kids. His went across the street. Mine went into my neighbor's car window. And EVERYONE was like, "UH OOOOH!" I ran back to my patio. And started eating my cereal HOPING nothing happened cause no one was home with me. Then my sister's crying. Then the neighborhood security comes asking who did it. ALLLLLLL my friends pointed at me. I was like, woooooow. So security asks for a parents, I say I don't know where they are. And I truly didn't know. So they come in my house asking me questions and shit. I was tired and was dosing off as they asked. The police come. And I was like uh no. My sister, and officer comes out the room with her. He handed her to me. And she stopped crying. THEN BAM! My GRANNY walks in from her trip, like, "What is going on? Where is Trina? (my mom) Why are the police here?" And they told her what was going on. Then it was something, but they cops had to take me and my sister away. So we get in the cop car, and I remember my Granny telling me to take care of my sister. And we were gone. To foster car that is. I have NO idea where I was, who this woman was I was living with. I was so confused. And she forced me to eat a banana. I threw that shit over the fence. It was creepy sleepy in the house too. Hmm. But finally I got to go back home to my Granny. I don't know how long I was in foster care, but it seemed like forever.
I'll just skip to main events.
7 years old. My mom went to this facility called Avery House. I was like a rehabilitation center. And my mom's bitch ass brought me and my sister there. It was an option. But why would she decide to bring us...? I had to go to a new skool. Hated it. I met some cool ass little girl there though. We were best friends. Until her mom graduated from the program. Smh. Had no friends at the skool or at the damn house. I can't remember too much about my sister being there, but she was with me. I remember the french toast in the mornings too. SOOO good. Well one day I wake up and my mom wasn't there. So I play with my sister for a little bit thinking my mom would come back. An hour later I walk through the place looking for her. I ask the cook. She dosesn't know. And no one else was around. I walked out front, and MIRACULOUSLY my Granny was out there just to come and visit. She asked why am I out here. I told her I didn't know where my mom was. She goes in, and finds out no one knew where my mom had gone. About a week later, my mom calls and ask my Granny to pick her up from DC. (no where near where she should have been) What a shame.
Age 10. I am in 5th grade. I have a new best friend. His name is Brandon. We liked Pokemon and all that shit. He introduced me to techno. It was a fad I guess. I remember in 4th grade N'Sync and Britney Spears came out. That was cool. But whatever. My teacher's name was Ms. Kraft. She thought I was funny as hell. I was just bad. She got married to some bald guy. Then we had to call her Mrs. Oliver. That sucked.
Age 11. I went to middle skool. And I realized what a hoe was. There was in Science class, some chick named Latisha who looked like she was 24 was in my class. And she only talked to my and shit. So one day, a couple weeks after she got her tongue pierced, she tells me how her mom is pissed that she got her tongue pierced and what not. So I tell her.. Something. And she was so touched by it. So touched that she flashed me. I was like, WHOOOOOA! What was that for?? Big tits FTW!!!!
Age 12. I have to move out of my apartment complex because my mom cussed out the landlord. So we move to this FAR away from anything I reconize. New skool, new friends. I didn't think it was so bad. I go to the new middle skool. I remember on the first day, this guy named Brandon was beating on the chair. I asked him to stopped, but he kept doing it. SO I joined him. And we were cool. Then this girl named Megan came asking me, what's your name, blah blah blah. This is the year where I first get ance. Sucks. I was cute until that happened.
Age 15. I smoked for the first time. With my cousin. Flavored rolling paper. Sweet. It was nice I guess. I didn't cough too hard. But this is where Halo and Xbox Live became holy to me. I bought Xbox Live for myself and it was AWESOME! I was really good. It was soo much fun. Big Team Battle, Head to Head, Team Skirmish, etc. Just flat out fun until MODDERS were born. That destroyed the game slowly but surely. Bridgers, spawn mods, all that bullshit. I almost killed myself too. I was really depressed. And one night, I just said fuck it. Pulled my pistol out my draw, put it in my mouth, and told myself I had nothing to live for. I hate living, no friends, no nothing. Started crying, but I didn't pull the trigger.
Age 17. I met my first legit girl friend. Her name was Ashley. I had met her over myspace 2 years before. And we hung out a few times before any boyfriend, girlfriend shit popped out. But on Valentine's day, I asked her would she be my girl. She said yes. I wanted to lose my virginity to her. But didn't. We came pretty close though. I'll tell you that. Well then, things with here became too much for her to even talk about, so we broke up. Long story blah blah. It was mutual. Summer time I start hanging out with these 2 chicks. One is still my friend and the other is insignificant. But we all had fun! I can only name one of them because the other put a restraining order on me. So the one I'm still friends with, Frankie, and the other we'd cool to the movies, malls and shit teenagers do.
Age 18. I have a cool as B-day with the fam, Frankie and other. (the other shall be named Eva at this point) While Frankie went for her college orientation and shit, Eva and I hung out. A LOT. And we did a lot of weird shit. Biting each other. Which eventually turned into kissing. Then other intense shit. I was loving it. I get my my first job. And saved my money not for me, but to see Eva. She came back down and visited. And when she did, I lost my virginity. It was nice. Eva then became my girl. So continuing on, I saved enough to see Eva and I visit her in the city in which she goes to skool in. I rent a hotel room. And she stays with me. We celebrate her roommates birthday and went out. It was a good night. I go back home a couple days later. Hating the job. Get, fired I guess. Idk what to call what he did to me. But whatever. I am preparing to go to military skool to get my high skool diploma. I never like public skools so I thought this was best for myself. I started in January. COLD ass morning. The first day is called processing. You arrive on the base, and first thing you do is take a piss test. I had to take a shit before I pissed. But I passed. We hop in this van and go to this building where we have to stuff ALL our shit into this duffle bag. Then we eat and waited. Then BAM, some black dude busts through the door. He clearly says, throw away your food. NOW. "Now listen careful, we are about to take a 3 hour long bus ride. And I don't wanna have ANY shit on the way. Is that clear." Everyone says, "YES SIR!!" He countinues, "Now we are gonna go down stairs and grab you duffle bags the line up next to the buses. MOVE!!!" That was the first day. The first 2 weeks we were living on this other military base called Fort Indiantown Gap. It was suppose to be the hardest two weeks to weed out the weaklings. Which it did. Then we came back down to the base we stayed on for the last 5-6 months. We had 1 break. And my break I had to do community service. But I wanted to bang my girl. So after community service, she called tell me she got drunk and did some shit with her ex. I was soo piss I had to make a joke. But after that phone call I never ever looked at her the same. Ok June 26th I graduate. FINALLY! I get to stay home. It was kinda fun. But I'd rather be on the outside. I was still uncomfortable with EVA so I broke up with her for a reason she'd never really know.
Age 19. I am out looking for a job, trying to get my licenses, and I just got my first cell phone. I am back with Eva. And having awesome great drunk fun with Frankie. In August, I have a family reunion. It was fun, but it seemed like the family was kinda segregated. While I was there, Eva calls to break up with me. I was like you could wait until I got home. She was like I woke up and just had to tell you. Idiotic. I get my first car. I thought I was getting a bargain. Little did I know. In September, I started at this trade skool called Lincoln Tech. Cool skool. But it was COLD AS FUCK in there. Fat white guy that it was hot. I was PISSED. But I made it through. Eva and I make up again. But when we do, she tells me she had sex with her ex while we were apart. I was MEGA pissed. I didn't need to know. And I'm like, why don't you say with him?! But get together. Skools pretty easy. Then Eva and I start fighting over dumb shit. Idk why, but I would say I had pent up aggression toward her because she fucking around with he ex, and coming to me. But idk why she fought. December she stops talking to me. I call her a whole bunch, leaving messages. I asked her please pick up the phone I only have 2 question and I will NEVER call you again. She'd pick up but wouldn't let me say anything. So finally, she says leave me alone. And I left her alone then 2-3 days later, my Myspace and Youtube Pages are gone. I knew it was her because she was the only who had access. And the funny things is, I changed my password before it was deleted. So she was DETERMINED to fuck me over. What a bitch. Then she puts a restraining order on me. I was just fucked up. Now everyone I know in my house doesn't like her. But oh well. So i continue you one with my life, and try to get my car sold. And since January to now, I've been going to skool and trying to sell my car. And here I am, writing.
Hello, my name is Khyle. Khyote is my nickname. I got it from my cousin. We were playing GTA San Andreas, and when ever he drove through the gay part of San Ferio, I'd call him Jolly Jimbo. And when he finally caught me driving through that section of the city, he called my Kinky Khyote. So now you know something about I.
Let's see, where in my life should I start with you no ones? No matter. I'll start from the beginning. I was born on nice ass afternoon and shit. July 6th, 1989. I was fat ass and white ass hell. My Grandmother named me Man Man because my hands were so big when I was born. But my hads are normal at this point in time. I was born in DC. Raised in Maryland. All I remember as a baby is biting my crib and lying next to my Grandmother. She made up songs and would sing them to me. I remember smiling too. She sang Pattie cake. And she also had her own randition of Whitney Houston's "Saving all my Love for You." She was sing, "I love you Man Man, yes I do, I'm saving all my love and just for you." I laugh as she held my hands and jiggled me around. I don't remember my mother so much because she wasn't too much. She was 16 when she had me. She was out having fun, and what not. Horrible shit. When I was about 2 or though, my Granny told my mom she wasn't gonna watch me anymore and that she needs to take care of my herself. So what she did was, took me everywhere she went. And of course I saw it all. Drugs, sex, fights, guns, death. And they thought I was too young to notice. She took me EVERYWHERE. Next.
I am like 4 now, and my mom has gone to Devry or some shit. And she graduates. We go to Busch Gardens. Had fun on the swings, the marry go'round. I remember the car my Granny rented. It was a Ford Tauras. My Granny also own this old as Ford Escort too. It was red. So at the age of 4, I started preschool too. I remember this one little girl. Her name was Bianca. Freaky, right? I know. I sat at the back on the bus by myself everyday. Until one day she decided to sit next to me. She asks, "Can I sit here?" I studdered, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes...." And she said, "Thank you." And gave me a kiss. I was astounded!!! I told her to do it again. And we started kissing. Bad little kids huh? Kids are very exploring. If you never kissed a chick well you were a kid, you missed out. I also met my best friend to this day at this age. His name's John. He was 2 when we met. Outside one day, and he was playing in the dirt. I played with him. Then I grab this branch and let go. It slaps him in his face. I said sorry, but it wasn't enough. He broke it off the tree and hit me in my face. And his mom saw. Beat his ass. I watched like, that's what it is like from the outside. 5 years of age. Kindergarden. I went to this school named Burnt Mills. It was nice. I can barely remember My teacher's name. It was weird. Ms. Hagestory. Something along those line. Typical Kindergarden teacher. Big fat white lady. Had curly black hair though. I thought it was interesting when I had seen her for the first time. Once, I had gotten left in the class before for bad behavior. And I had to PISS. Pissed on the canvas the teacher wrote on, on the reading carpet, and on myself. Bad kid eh? I thought not. I lived with my aunt Lisa in Atlanta for like 2 weeks too. I don't know why, but she bought me some Power Ranger blankets. I was SICED!! (excited) About when I was 5, my mom decided to move into her on apartment. Shes take me. IDK WHY! While I lived there, I didn't go to skool or anything. Stayed home until my mom got home from work I guess. I can't remember. I remember seeing my first porno there though. I was up late one night. And I wanted to watch my favorite move, Roger Rabbit. Which was ALWAYS in the VCR until this one night. I push play. Then these three lating ppl are naked. I knew it was wrong, but I was like wtf is he gonna do with that microphone. Put it inside the bitch. I was like OH NO! Then my mom comes out her room. Ass beating put me to sleep. One normal ass day, my mom is in the room with some guy... And someone's knocking on the door hard as HELL. My mom looks through the peep hole. She doesn't know him, but the guy she was in the room with looks out. And he knows the guy. Goes back in the room and comes back out with a pistol in his hand. I walk up to the door with him. My mom pushes my into the kitchen. The door opens and, "BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!!!" Gun firing and shit. My mom and him run to get what they need out the room, and I run to the door to see what happened. A dead ass dude laying on the steps blood EVERYWHERE! The floor, the celing, neighbor's door, the windows, the handrail, everywhere. My mom snatches me up and we are outta there!
6 years old my first sister was born. Karianne. She was born premature. So she was EXTRA small. Why she was born like that? My mother got pregnant, but that didn't stop her rolling ass from smoking, drinking, ect. Fucking bitch. Anyway, I loved my little sister. But of course, my Granny raised her. One time, my Granny had gone to the Bahamas with her friends for work. So it was up to my "MOTHER" to watch us. She left. And I had to take care of my baby sister by myself. I knew how to change diapers, but I wanted to play outside with my best friend John. So before I went out, I made my sister a fresh bottle of milk. Gave it to her, and she was all good. I went out on my patio with a box of Multi-Grain Cheerios. And sat there just in case my sister started crying. ALL my friends were out playing. They were like, "Come on Khyle, play duck, duck, GOOSE with us." I was like, "I can't leave my patio right now." So they played. Then my sister starts crying. Bottle's empty, I fill it up with some Kool-Aid. She was fine. So I thought, if she was quiet long enough I would step away from my patio. So I ended up walking off my patio to play with John. And we decided to throw rocks. We were some BOYS as kids. His went across the street. Mine went into my neighbor's car window. And EVERYONE was like, "UH OOOOH!" I ran back to my patio. And started eating my cereal HOPING nothing happened cause no one was home with me. Then my sister's crying. Then the neighborhood security comes asking who did it. ALLLLLLL my friends pointed at me. I was like, woooooow. So security asks for a parents, I say I don't know where they are. And I truly didn't know. So they come in my house asking me questions and shit. I was tired and was dosing off as they asked. The police come. And I was like uh no. My sister, and officer comes out the room with her. He handed her to me. And she stopped crying. THEN BAM! My GRANNY walks in from her trip, like, "What is going on? Where is Trina? (my mom) Why are the police here?" And they told her what was going on. Then it was something, but they cops had to take me and my sister away. So we get in the cop car, and I remember my Granny telling me to take care of my sister. And we were gone. To foster car that is. I have NO idea where I was, who this woman was I was living with. I was so confused. And she forced me to eat a banana. I threw that shit over the fence. It was creepy sleepy in the house too. Hmm. But finally I got to go back home to my Granny. I don't know how long I was in foster care, but it seemed like forever.
I'll just skip to main events.
7 years old. My mom went to this facility called Avery House. I was like a rehabilitation center. And my mom's bitch ass brought me and my sister there. It was an option. But why would she decide to bring us...? I had to go to a new skool. Hated it. I met some cool ass little girl there though. We were best friends. Until her mom graduated from the program. Smh. Had no friends at the skool or at the damn house. I can't remember too much about my sister being there, but she was with me. I remember the french toast in the mornings too. SOOO good. Well one day I wake up and my mom wasn't there. So I play with my sister for a little bit thinking my mom would come back. An hour later I walk through the place looking for her. I ask the cook. She dosesn't know. And no one else was around. I walked out front, and MIRACULOUSLY my Granny was out there just to come and visit. She asked why am I out here. I told her I didn't know where my mom was. She goes in, and finds out no one knew where my mom had gone. About a week later, my mom calls and ask my Granny to pick her up from DC. (no where near where she should have been) What a shame.
Age 10. I am in 5th grade. I have a new best friend. His name is Brandon. We liked Pokemon and all that shit. He introduced me to techno. It was a fad I guess. I remember in 4th grade N'Sync and Britney Spears came out. That was cool. But whatever. My teacher's name was Ms. Kraft. She thought I was funny as hell. I was just bad. She got married to some bald guy. Then we had to call her Mrs. Oliver. That sucked.
Age 11. I went to middle skool. And I realized what a hoe was. There was in Science class, some chick named Latisha who looked like she was 24 was in my class. And she only talked to my and shit. So one day, a couple weeks after she got her tongue pierced, she tells me how her mom is pissed that she got her tongue pierced and what not. So I tell her.. Something. And she was so touched by it. So touched that she flashed me. I was like, WHOOOOOA! What was that for?? Big tits FTW!!!!
Age 12. I have to move out of my apartment complex because my mom cussed out the landlord. So we move to this FAR away from anything I reconize. New skool, new friends. I didn't think it was so bad. I go to the new middle skool. I remember on the first day, this guy named Brandon was beating on the chair. I asked him to stopped, but he kept doing it. SO I joined him. And we were cool. Then this girl named Megan came asking me, what's your name, blah blah blah. This is the year where I first get ance. Sucks. I was cute until that happened.
Age 15. I smoked for the first time. With my cousin. Flavored rolling paper. Sweet. It was nice I guess. I didn't cough too hard. But this is where Halo and Xbox Live became holy to me. I bought Xbox Live for myself and it was AWESOME! I was really good. It was soo much fun. Big Team Battle, Head to Head, Team Skirmish, etc. Just flat out fun until MODDERS were born. That destroyed the game slowly but surely. Bridgers, spawn mods, all that bullshit. I almost killed myself too. I was really depressed. And one night, I just said fuck it. Pulled my pistol out my draw, put it in my mouth, and told myself I had nothing to live for. I hate living, no friends, no nothing. Started crying, but I didn't pull the trigger.
Age 17. I met my first legit girl friend. Her name was Ashley. I had met her over myspace 2 years before. And we hung out a few times before any boyfriend, girlfriend shit popped out. But on Valentine's day, I asked her would she be my girl. She said yes. I wanted to lose my virginity to her. But didn't. We came pretty close though. I'll tell you that. Well then, things with here became too much for her to even talk about, so we broke up. Long story blah blah. It was mutual. Summer time I start hanging out with these 2 chicks. One is still my friend and the other is insignificant. But we all had fun! I can only name one of them because the other put a restraining order on me. So the one I'm still friends with, Frankie, and the other we'd cool to the movies, malls and shit teenagers do.
Age 18. I have a cool as B-day with the fam, Frankie and other. (the other shall be named Eva at this point) While Frankie went for her college orientation and shit, Eva and I hung out. A LOT. And we did a lot of weird shit. Biting each other. Which eventually turned into kissing. Then other intense shit. I was loving it. I get my my first job. And saved my money not for me, but to see Eva. She came back down and visited. And when she did, I lost my virginity. It was nice. Eva then became my girl. So continuing on, I saved enough to see Eva and I visit her in the city in which she goes to skool in. I rent a hotel room. And she stays with me. We celebrate her roommates birthday and went out. It was a good night. I go back home a couple days later. Hating the job. Get, fired I guess. Idk what to call what he did to me. But whatever. I am preparing to go to military skool to get my high skool diploma. I never like public skools so I thought this was best for myself. I started in January. COLD ass morning. The first day is called processing. You arrive on the base, and first thing you do is take a piss test. I had to take a shit before I pissed. But I passed. We hop in this van and go to this building where we have to stuff ALL our shit into this duffle bag. Then we eat and waited. Then BAM, some black dude busts through the door. He clearly says, throw away your food. NOW. "Now listen careful, we are about to take a 3 hour long bus ride. And I don't wanna have ANY shit on the way. Is that clear." Everyone says, "YES SIR!!" He countinues, "Now we are gonna go down stairs and grab you duffle bags the line up next to the buses. MOVE!!!" That was the first day. The first 2 weeks we were living on this other military base called Fort Indiantown Gap. It was suppose to be the hardest two weeks to weed out the weaklings. Which it did. Then we came back down to the base we stayed on for the last 5-6 months. We had 1 break. And my break I had to do community service. But I wanted to bang my girl. So after community service, she called tell me she got drunk and did some shit with her ex. I was soo piss I had to make a joke. But after that phone call I never ever looked at her the same. Ok June 26th I graduate. FINALLY! I get to stay home. It was kinda fun. But I'd rather be on the outside. I was still uncomfortable with EVA so I broke up with her for a reason she'd never really know.
Age 19. I am out looking for a job, trying to get my licenses, and I just got my first cell phone. I am back with Eva. And having awesome great drunk fun with Frankie. In August, I have a family reunion. It was fun, but it seemed like the family was kinda segregated. While I was there, Eva calls to break up with me. I was like you could wait until I got home. She was like I woke up and just had to tell you. Idiotic. I get my first car. I thought I was getting a bargain. Little did I know. In September, I started at this trade skool called Lincoln Tech. Cool skool. But it was COLD AS FUCK in there. Fat white guy that it was hot. I was PISSED. But I made it through. Eva and I make up again. But when we do, she tells me she had sex with her ex while we were apart. I was MEGA pissed. I didn't need to know. And I'm like, why don't you say with him?! But get together. Skools pretty easy. Then Eva and I start fighting over dumb shit. Idk why, but I would say I had pent up aggression toward her because she fucking around with he ex, and coming to me. But idk why she fought. December she stops talking to me. I call her a whole bunch, leaving messages. I asked her please pick up the phone I only have 2 question and I will NEVER call you again. She'd pick up but wouldn't let me say anything. So finally, she says leave me alone. And I left her alone then 2-3 days later, my Myspace and Youtube Pages are gone. I knew it was her because she was the only who had access. And the funny things is, I changed my password before it was deleted. So she was DETERMINED to fuck me over. What a bitch. Then she puts a restraining order on me. I was just fucked up. Now everyone I know in my house doesn't like her. But oh well. So i continue you one with my life, and try to get my car sold. And since January to now, I've been going to skool and trying to sell my car. And here I am, writing.
3.27.2009
"I got the whole world in my hands..."
If I had seen this woman, I would have started singing with her. Then stole her shine by finishing the song like how Whitney did the National Anthem. lol.
But really, why I posted this is because this song was in my head. Recently I've been on the look out for jobs. While technically, I've been looking since December. But uh, yea. Looking nonetheless. I've had a couple of interviews and what not. But what woke me up that I TRULY needed to get my money situation str8 is this. My Grandmother supports 90% of this household. So if she loses a job, it is done. SO the other day, my Grandmother didn't go to work because she truly she didn't have to work that day. But she really did. So her job calls her asking where she is. My Grandmother answers and explains her situation. I guess she got lucky cause she is still at work right now. The policy at her job is no show, no call is an automatic fire. So yea, this woke me up. I need to start stacking and quick. Because who else will be there to take care of my sisters if my Grandmother can't? If you know me, my sisters and I grew up raising ourselves basically.
What a shame.
3.25.2009
End of the Century!!!!!!!
What ever happen to the music? It was like in the 90s damn near all rappers were out to prove something. It was real. Different. Everyone had their own style. Different beats. Different experiences that everyone who listened to it could feel and truly relate. It is like now rappers rap about money. And all the shit they have after a deal. Like, son, wtf. TRASH.
Listen to some of this.
Feels good don't it? Yea I know. Even as a kid, when I heard music, I was at peace with whatever. Cause I understood what they were rapping and singing about. Not that I don't now, but I can't really relate unless I prioritize having a good time and looking good rather then living a stable life... lol.
I wonder why music seemed so much more in the 90s.
Is it because I was raised in the 90s?
Is it because they were rapping about real issues?
Or could it be simply music today is just trash?
Listen to some of this.
Feels good don't it? Yea I know. Even as a kid, when I heard music, I was at peace with whatever. Cause I understood what they were rapping and singing about. Not that I don't now, but I can't really relate unless I prioritize having a good time and looking good rather then living a stable life... lol.
I wonder why music seemed so much more in the 90s.
Is it because I was raised in the 90s?
Is it because they were rapping about real issues?
Or could it be simply music today is just trash?
3.20.2009
Betterment
lol I never knew that was a word.
But look, my friend and I are HUNGRY to live life like we want. And we are on the BRINK of doing it. We need the money though, right? SO look, we are SEARCHING for jobs. Today I went for a job interview. So I am on my way. Plus I have to pay these tickets I just got off. lol But yea. He is kinda underage so it is harder for him to get a job and shit. But we are trying.
See, I am into Hondas. And I am trying to get things looking good for myself. My car doesn't look as bad as when I got it. And it runs noticeably better. I have been strugglin with this car. I love it, but is it a money whole I've been trying to dig myself out of for the past 7 month. And I see the light now. And if I get a job at any of the 10 jobs I have just applied for, car you say, I'VE WON A NEW CAR!!!!!? Hellz yea. Now enjoy what I enjoy.
But look, my friend and I are HUNGRY to live life like we want. And we are on the BRINK of doing it. We need the money though, right? SO look, we are SEARCHING for jobs. Today I went for a job interview. So I am on my way. Plus I have to pay these tickets I just got off. lol But yea. He is kinda underage so it is harder for him to get a job and shit. But we are trying.
See, I am into Hondas. And I am trying to get things looking good for myself. My car doesn't look as bad as when I got it. And it runs noticeably better. I have been strugglin with this car. I love it, but is it a money whole I've been trying to dig myself out of for the past 7 month. And I see the light now. And if I get a job at any of the 10 jobs I have just applied for, car you say, I'VE WON A NEW CAR!!!!!? Hellz yea. Now enjoy what I enjoy.
DiGiorno
I am like, look here person, you HAVE to get shit together. Worried about other ppl, worry about yourself for a little bit first. Get YOUR shit str8. Damn, look at yourself. You are trying to do this and that to do this and that for them. Now you are struggling to do normal shit. Like, get a haircut. Tsk. You definitely need to get them priorities str8nd out. ha.
"Look, I have realized it too. But I can't really explain. I want to chill and have fun, but I haven't set up a foundation do be able to do shit like that. I don't mean to make it complicated. Shit, I'm broke as hell. Money I had saved after I left my job went half to my car and half to this one bitch I was with. And I still don't think she realized what I've done for HER ASS. Some bitches are spoiled and don't even know it sometimes. But..."
Now you are rambling. Forget your stupid past. Wtf? No one cares. You she what she obviously did to you. So yea, no care.... DUR. That is another thing. Find "reliable" ppl. Don't hang around ppl who aren't going to appreciate or pay you back when you do shit. Find those who "DO" care. But still, you are the priority. Do not compromise yourself . Do not spend money on useless causes. Be smart. It is too easy.
"Yea, I guess it is easy. Just prioritize myself, be smart about where the cake goes, and never date a chick with financial issues and try to help by taking her out and having dinner at her place and WASTING money I know I will never get back or have appreciated at least. I got it. I am on it!!!!"
Exactly. You are number 1. And what the HELL do you keep talking about a bitch for?! Sounds exactly like dating a Stripper or a Whore or something... Weird. Anyways, find a girl, since you are talking so much about one, find one who can support herself. Nothing like you described. Avoid them at ALL cost. If they're money aint right, either are extremly busy, or they have other issues they can not manage.... So, yea, your best bet to just date around if you are looking for a 'woman.' Have fun homie. Be safe. Do not let your emotions make you out to be a foolish whore. Then you'll become a dirtbag. lol
"iight man. Thank you. Words from a wise man. I bet you get all the girls dont you?"
Oh naw, I'm gay.
"OH...!?"
Yea, man...
"...erm...'
Eeeeeeyeaaaaa, a bit too much huh?
"Ummmm, no....? I guess, idk....."
Sike naw BITCH! I keep bitches. One sucking on me right now!!!!
"Bye man.."
Damn.
"Look, I have realized it too. But I can't really explain. I want to chill and have fun, but I haven't set up a foundation do be able to do shit like that. I don't mean to make it complicated. Shit, I'm broke as hell. Money I had saved after I left my job went half to my car and half to this one bitch I was with. And I still don't think she realized what I've done for HER ASS. Some bitches are spoiled and don't even know it sometimes. But..."
Now you are rambling. Forget your stupid past. Wtf? No one cares. You she what she obviously did to you. So yea, no care.... DUR. That is another thing. Find "reliable" ppl. Don't hang around ppl who aren't going to appreciate or pay you back when you do shit. Find those who "DO" care. But still, you are the priority. Do not compromise yourself . Do not spend money on useless causes. Be smart. It is too easy.
"Yea, I guess it is easy. Just prioritize myself, be smart about where the cake goes, and never date a chick with financial issues and try to help by taking her out and having dinner at her place and WASTING money I know I will never get back or have appreciated at least. I got it. I am on it!!!!"
Exactly. You are number 1. And what the HELL do you keep talking about a bitch for?! Sounds exactly like dating a Stripper or a Whore or something... Weird. Anyways, find a girl, since you are talking so much about one, find one who can support herself. Nothing like you described. Avoid them at ALL cost. If they're money aint right, either are extremly busy, or they have other issues they can not manage.... So, yea, your best bet to just date around if you are looking for a 'woman.' Have fun homie. Be safe. Do not let your emotions make you out to be a foolish whore. Then you'll become a dirtbag. lol
"iight man. Thank you. Words from a wise man. I bet you get all the girls dont you?"
Oh naw, I'm gay.
"OH...!?"
Yea, man...
"...erm...'
Eeeeeeyeaaaaa, a bit too much huh?
"Ummmm, no....? I guess, idk....."
Sike naw BITCH! I keep bitches. One sucking on me right now!!!!
"Bye man.."
Damn.
"Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back..." -Hitch
"Watch your hand placement.
Too high says, "I just wanna be friends."
Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass.""
Too high says, "I just wanna be friends."
Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass.""
I saw the movie Hitch the other week. I thought it was good and shit. Only if I could get a girl like Eva Mendez. Will Smith lucky getting to kiss up on her AND Jada. I'm bout to be an actor. Bet I'll be the next Denzel though. lol.
Anyway to the writing and shit.
I was in the mall today for an interview. After I was done, I walked around for a bit, and checked out some females. Some looked good, but some looked even better. So I was like, hmmmm. And I compared my ex too what some of the girls. And I was like, hmmmm?! Kept walking and looking and comparing. And I was just like, wow.... Why did I react like that?
Iight, it was because, I compared and compared away. And I just invisioned my ex's face. And I remember being in the mall with her. I remember talking her to this mall near where she stayed. It was cool. I never enjoyed the mall until her and I hung out. But uh, yea. We used to just stroll and shit. And I always, placed my hand in the small of her back. In the right spot... Most of the time. He he. She was lucky enough that I would sing her this song I've been wanting to someone right now.
There I stood for her too. But "OH WELL." -G
I thought of all this while walking in the mall. Just brief.
Anyway to the writing and shit.
I was in the mall today for an interview. After I was done, I walked around for a bit, and checked out some females. Some looked good, but some looked even better. So I was like, hmmmm. And I compared my ex too what some of the girls. And I was like, hmmmm?! Kept walking and looking and comparing. And I was just like, wow.... Why did I react like that?
Iight, it was because, I compared and compared away. And I just invisioned my ex's face. And I remember being in the mall with her. I remember talking her to this mall near where she stayed. It was cool. I never enjoyed the mall until her and I hung out. But uh, yea. We used to just stroll and shit. And I always, placed my hand in the small of her back. In the right spot... Most of the time. He he. She was lucky enough that I would sing her this song I've been wanting to someone right now.
There I stood for her too. But "OH WELL." -G
I thought of all this while walking in the mall. Just brief.
3.19.2009
Cooking.
Check it.
Like right now in my life, I've like in a hole. No job and no money, getting tickets on this piece of shit car I have, skool issues, ect. But it is like, I can't worry too much about it. I am like, at peace with these struggles. Weird. Cause last year, I'd be depressed and what not. I am calm, and seeking ways out. I am proud of myself.
But at the same time I'm not....
I put myself into these struggle, eyes wide open. So I still have things to work on until I become that man I am desperately trying to become. I understand people will struggle, and make mistakes. But the type of struggles and mistake defines the person, you know? And looking at myself, I am still novice at this shit. But being aware promotes progression. So I am on my way.
Really, the only real things I worry about and getting to know new people. I don't trust too many people as is. So my new challenge after I str8en things up is to meet new people. BAM
I've been talking to my best friend about changing my style. I want tattoos, new clothes and shoes. A new look for myself. I would have tried things last year, but I spent a lot of my money on my car and going back and forth to spend time with my girl. (ex now and shit) But I am going to change it up this year. Like me getting things str8.
Iight, talking to myself and shit. Shit, reminds me of cooking.
Like right now in my life, I've like in a hole. No job and no money, getting tickets on this piece of shit car I have, skool issues, ect. But it is like, I can't worry too much about it. I am like, at peace with these struggles. Weird. Cause last year, I'd be depressed and what not. I am calm, and seeking ways out. I am proud of myself.
But at the same time I'm not....
I put myself into these struggle, eyes wide open. So I still have things to work on until I become that man I am desperately trying to become. I understand people will struggle, and make mistakes. But the type of struggles and mistake defines the person, you know? And looking at myself, I am still novice at this shit. But being aware promotes progression. So I am on my way.
Really, the only real things I worry about and getting to know new people. I don't trust too many people as is. So my new challenge after I str8en things up is to meet new people. BAM
I've been talking to my best friend about changing my style. I want tattoos, new clothes and shoes. A new look for myself. I would have tried things last year, but I spent a lot of my money on my car and going back and forth to spend time with my girl. (ex now and shit) But I am going to change it up this year. Like me getting things str8.
Iight, talking to myself and shit. Shit, reminds me of cooking.
I laugh
Deep, soulful release,
Muscle contracting event,
I laugh at life,
I laugh at everything with in it,
Now I am different,
I am not as I was before,
I see now, how and why,
You have to live so selfishly in this world,
I enjoy some struggles,
Some I'd rather living without,
Most aren't to critical,
Other changes how my life turns out,
So all I can do now is laugh,
And try to enjoy everything I can,
Because once you have make dumb mistakes,
They come back to haunt you....
Muscle contracting event,
I laugh at life,
I laugh at everything with in it,
Now I am different,
I am not as I was before,
I see now, how and why,
You have to live so selfishly in this world,
I enjoy some struggles,
Some I'd rather living without,
Most aren't to critical,
Other changes how my life turns out,
So all I can do now is laugh,
And try to enjoy everything I can,
Because once you have make dumb mistakes,
They come back to haunt you....
3.15.2009
When I close my eyes.
Imagination, is all I do,
Cause everytime I try something new,
It always fails, doesn't come true,
I don't boo hoo, I try it duece,
I think of oceans, I think of blue,
I want to get away like my path were skew,
Crispy breeze, in Belize,
Can I have a big ass beach towel please,
Just relax, sun on my back,
This shrimp cocktail is just a snack,
On the sand, next to thighs,
I take you to the hotel and multiple,
Wife beater, Tiki Shorts,
You look better with the bikini-skirt,
With some rum, on the rocks,
Chilling in the trees in which birds flock,
To, before, dusk comes around,
This moment right is significantly profound,
What a day, what can I say,
This is what happens when my thoughts, drift away...
Cause everytime I try something new,
It always fails, doesn't come true,
I don't boo hoo, I try it duece,
I think of oceans, I think of blue,
I want to get away like my path were skew,
Crispy breeze, in Belize,
Can I have a big ass beach towel please,
Just relax, sun on my back,
This shrimp cocktail is just a snack,
On the sand, next to thighs,
I take you to the hotel and multiple,
Wife beater, Tiki Shorts,
You look better with the bikini-skirt,
With some rum, on the rocks,
Chilling in the trees in which birds flock,
To, before, dusk comes around,
This moment right is significantly profound,
What a day, what can I say,
This is what happens when my thoughts, drift away...
Now or Later..
Bittersweet, but it was no chocolate,
Electrifying, but it was no socket,
What it was, is what it should have been,
What it is now, is like, there was nothing to begin,
With....
Shit, I tried to quit with explicit,
But again, I can be a nitpick,
HA, but who cares, not me, not them.
I just figure I could stop these dream. NOW not later.
Electrifying, but it was no socket,
What it was, is what it should have been,
What it is now, is like, there was nothing to begin,
With....
Shit, I tried to quit with explicit,
But again, I can be a nitpick,
HA, but who cares, not me, not them.
I just figure I could stop these dream. NOW not later.
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