Puzzled

I'm as puzzled as a Redsident Evil game. Puzzled about what you ask?

Well, I've just instantly lost someone who was really close to me. And naw, they ain't die. They are going on doing... whatever. Me not expecting this at all, I'm just confused as to wait for...idk. Or just move out? I swear this is some confusing as shit. I won't go certain ways so I don't make a "hoe" outta myself like some people. But I won't go outta my way to wait for anyone either.

I would like to wait until maybe they realize what the fuck happened. Realize we were BOTH wrong. I would love to go back to giving my attention to them. I would love receivin thier attention. Time, touch, everything we had before 1 blow out destroyed it. I would wait for take. But not too long. I could see this as break from each other for a while but, if it was really that serious, (as I really wanted to ask but COULD NOT) that it could never go back, I just drop the shit. I'd like a straight up talk about it just so I could see where I will go with my life.
On the other hand, I could go the route of just freedom. I could just get over it. But the thought , "Should I?" still pops up. If I knew a little more from the person I could make a choice. But at this moment, I'm not ready to become some raging single dude. Not with the shit on my mind. I can't do that to myself. I'm so frustrated. In all way. Mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually. Hmm hmm.

So many thoughts in my head right now. I don't know if they are even worth being written. I'm so confused.